Asylum's Top 10 Occupations Inaccurately Associated With Sexiness
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Cowboy -- Fantasy
Shania Twain and the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders have you thinking that every temptress sporting a Stetson and tight-fitting leather is a cowgirl ready to ride.
Cowboy -- Reality
Actual cowboys are in the business of roping, riding and killing livestock -- and they smell like it. Meanwhile, the girls at the country bar wearing straw Kenny Chesney hats are more likely to be party skanks than ranch-hands.
Porn Star -- Fantasy
Every year, billions of dollars are paid to watch beautiful women engage in an array of mind- and limb-bending sex. So what if you're one of those guys who forks over cash to watch -- you'll give up your hobby when you meet a lady with the same acting skills as Jenna Jameson and Tera Patrick
Porn Star -- Reality
What you don't see in those "money shots" are the trips to the clinic for mandated STD testing, because this type of acting sometimes causes scabbing.
Lifeguard -- Fantasy
When you and everyone else around the world thinks of lifeguards, you immediately picture the giant bosoms of "Baywatch." Of course, you've concocted an imaginary scenario where you're pulled from the surf and administered mouth-to-mouth from Yasmine Bleeth. Suddenly, she realizes she's revived more than just your pulse...
Lifeguard -- Reality
Get real. Yasmine is probably somewhere boozing. When actual lifeguards think of their job, they imagine being cold, wind-burned and disgusted by America's obesity epidemic. Meanwhile, the majority of life-saving ladies are more about musculature than Pamela-esque booblature. But don't fret, you'll appreciate this when you're actually drowning.
Nurse -- Fantasy
The soft, healing hands and low-cut scrubs of the naughty nurse -- you've spent many a night entertaining the idea of being properly "cared for" by a not-so-innocent RN.
Nurse -- Reality
Nobody knows better than women in health care that exchanging bodily fluids with casual acquaintances is a bad idea. The only poking she's going to allow comes courtesy of a massive syringe.
Teacher -- Fantasy
Even if you were physically and emotionally abused on a daily basis throughout your adolescence, Van Halen has instilled in your psyche the notion of returning to high school to get a "special lesson." It could happen, right? After all, motorcycle model/teacher Debra Lafave had an affair with a teenage student.
Police -- Fantasy
Break out the cuffs, because after watching Heather Locklear on "TJ Hooker" and, more recently, Mariska Hargitay on "Law & Order," you're ready to get frisked.
Between the sweating and the panting and the super-model bodies in impossibly tiny skirts, you get the sense that this sport is serving up a lob aimed directly at your libido. First, it was Anna Kournikova. A few years later, Maria Sharapova.
Fantasy -- Flight Attendant
What's hotter than sex in a bathroom? Sex in an airplane bathroom, of course. We all know about the club for in-flight action. Those stewardesses, (er, flight attendants) are always right there at our beck and call, waiting to satisfy.
Flight Attendant -- Reality
Never forget that flight attendants are trained to take you out like a sweaty shoe-bomber. Act a bit suspicious or solicit them for some lavatory lovin', and you're likely to get hurt. This guy was just inducted into the "Mile-High Bitch" Club.
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